Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Sam.
Hey, y'.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: All. It's your girl K. And it's Bracey. And welcome back to another episode of Girl Don't Whisper.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: Today we're talking about protecting your energy. Like your life depends on it, because it actually does. Thank you.
For sure.
You ever said yes and, like, you know, instantly, like, regretted it countless times.
Lucia said no. Still saying yes.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: Yes.
And when you have regret about it, you just be like, I really don't
[00:01:02] Speaker C: want to do it.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: Force yourself to do it.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: Bags. But sometimes, you know, sometimes it be good. But sometimes you just gotta, like, you just gotta say no.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Like, yeah, and I don't want to
[00:01:12] Speaker A: do it grushfully, but, like, you know, one time. I ain't gonna say one time. But like, in my little era when I was liking girls, like, I used to feel, like, so bad. Like, when I used to have to work, like, when I. It was time for, like, family get togethers and stuff. Like, and my girlfriend had to come and stuff. I usually, like, you know what? Like, we just ain't going today. Like, you know, like. Like when you first, like, come out, it's kind of like.
Like, bro, when I told my mama, you know what she told me? What? Yeah, she was disappointed and disgusted.
Like, come on, now. That. That's so. You know how I felt.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: I wanted to cry so bad.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: You probably did cry. Knowing you, I did.
[00:01:54] Speaker A: I was so sad. Like, I was like, it's no way. Like, she just said that. So, like, that was already a bad start off. So, like, you know, I was like, dang, like, what everybody else going to
[00:02:04] Speaker B: think about it, like, yes.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: I used to be like, you know, I'm just not even going. I ain't even going today. You know, I ain't going. Over there.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: Did you feel obligated to. To take her or do you feel like you should have just said no and not take her to protect your energy, like, to keep your family from judging you?
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why. That's why I was just like, you know, I ain't going. I ain't going. That's exactly why. Cause, like, I ain't got time for all that. But then eventually, you know, I grew out of. I was like, you know, bring your ass on.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: So once you got comfortable, did you still feel some type of, like, resentment for taking her?
[00:02:37] Speaker A: No.
I mean, I feel like it was new to me, so, you know, like, when something's new to you, it's a little. A little scary, you know, especially something like that. Like, what is everybody gonna think when they Be looking at you and stuff,
[00:02:48] Speaker B: you know, like, yeah.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: So I was like, you know, at first I'm like, yeah, nah. And I was like, you know, come on, let's go. Like we gotta get over it one day. So.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: And I look, you don't even like women no more.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: New bring me the.
But I ain't got story though. Like I did kind of feel bad like on my end, like towards her. But I ain't, I ain't about what your family think.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Like I, I just never knew, like, you know how they is. Like they don't care. They do not care. They say anything.
[00:03:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Especially your mama.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: Yes. And you know, girl, you know, she get, she don't hold nothing back.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: I think mine with protecting my energy is a lot of times I get too comfortable saying yeah.
Especially like with my past job, I always used to say yeah to working extra shifts and that was just so exhausting. Like I could work a full eight hour day and the next day supposed to be my day off. And I agree to take somebody shift. But a lot of times when I did used to do that, the same person always asking you to take this shift, you'll take the shift. Like no. Sometimes you got to say no.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what that one thing about me is though?
I' ma say no, but it didn't
[00:04:10] Speaker B: bother me that much because at least I'm getting paid for it.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: But I don't say no all the time. Like it is hard for me to say no. But if it comes down to something with working, hell no, it didn't bother
[00:04:21] Speaker B: me because I like to be paid.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: You know how I feel about working. No, not if I, if I don't have to. It's a no go for me.
It's a no go for me.
What do. Like how would you, how would you describe protecting your energy? Like if you was to have to put it in like lamest terms.
Yeah, like how would you describe it?
[00:04:47] Speaker B: I would say protecting your energy is knowing when to say no.
Like if it's something that's like mentally draining, exhaust, exhausting, say no. Because whenever you do do whatever somebody is wanting you to do, or even I don't care if it's your mama, say no if you don't have the energy for it. Because at the end of the day you're gonna be the one that have burnout.
And even when you burnt out, somebody still is gonna want you to do something for them. It don't matter.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: Yeah. And people don't care. That goes back to you saying no. Like, you just gonna have to say no sometimes. Time. Yeah.
[00:05:20] Speaker B: You have to.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: And you know what else?
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Set them boundaries and you going to
[00:05:24] Speaker A: have to stop giving people access to you.
Like, I feel like when it comes to protecting your energy, we need to learn to take our time more seriously.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: Yes. And another example of, like, protecting your energy. Well, I'll say another definition is like, if you go around somebody and you notice when you go around them, like, before you even going around them, everything going good, and you go around them and stuff just go downhill, that's a sign for you to be like, yeah, I need to stay away.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Yeah, this person ain't for me. No. Yeah. And you know, people.
People can drain your energy.
Like.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: Especially if it's like somebody that you really was messing with, you know, like,
[00:06:05] Speaker B: and they never happy, always complaining about something.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: Come on now, girl.
[00:06:09] Speaker B: Like, I seen this post on Facebook the other day that was so relatable. And it was like, I don't have time to be around somebody that complain all day. Seriously. Because that wear off on you. Like, you happy, and then you be around somebody who complaining and never happy.
That make you look at things in another perspective. Instead of you being happy and knowing that things can change and get better, you start to look at it like, this ain't gonna never change or always gonna be the same.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Because that's what you surround yourself with. Yeah. And, you know, whatever you surround yourself with, that what you grow with.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: Yep. So.
[00:06:41] Speaker A: But I ain't really. I don't know. I complain a lot myself, though.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: I mean, I do. But at the same time, when I complain, I take the time and be grateful for what I do have or things that can possibly change.
[00:06:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And I don't really complain for no long time about stuff that I can't change.
Now, granted, when it comes to working, every time I get time, oh, my God, I don't want to go to work.
I literally say that every day before South Beach.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Go to work.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: Like, every day.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: So you feel like work is journey, your time, your time, your well, your peace. Yeah.
[00:07:15] Speaker A: It's like.
But then it's like when I get there, you know, I be depending on who at work. I'll be all right. You know, like, you know, you got your peoples that you make your work day go by better or whatever.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: But yeah, I don't know.
[00:07:27] Speaker A: Like, I'm just not a worker. Like, that's just not. It drains me.
[00:07:33] Speaker B: You got to get out of there or you gotta get rich.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: It's not peaceful to me. I'm trying to get rich.
I'm trying to get rich because all it takes is one good move, one
[00:07:43] Speaker B: thing, and it changed your life forever.
[00:07:45] Speaker A: That's all it takes. Like, I know I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna figure out what mine says because I can't keep doing that. I cannot keep doing that.
And another thing too, that I feel like is good too, is, like, not, like, not announcing stuff.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: That's why I say I'm gonna find my one thing.
But I gotta make sure, like, I'm gonna be consistent with it before I say something about it, you know, like. Or that it's gonna hopefully work out for me. I feel like it's gonna work out for me.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: Like, in all actuality, you really shouldn't say nothing until it's done. Because when you sometimes when you announce people, announce things to people, you realize a lot of hate.
People don't be happy for you. For real.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Yeah. That is true. And people, I ain't going to say they start to envy you, but it's like you can kind of feel the energy shifting in the room.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: Like, I thought we was friends. I thought we was clapping for each other.
[00:08:45] Speaker B: Yeah. It don't always be like that. So sometimes you have to keep stuff to yourself until it's permanent.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: And I do not like doing that.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: What, holding stuff in?
[00:08:54] Speaker A: No, like, I be feel. I be wanting to tell everybody. Like, I am learning now not to tell people, but, like, one thing about me.
I would tell you anything. Like, I was. I'm an open book, you can ask me whatever and I'm gonna tell you. And if I do something new, I'm gonna be so happy. I'm gonna tell everybody about it. Like, literally. And I can't help that. That's just who I am. Like, I want everybody to be as happy as I'm gonna be.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: It don't always be like that, though.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: It don't though. And you know what's crazy?
[00:09:18] Speaker B: You can't expect yourself from people all the time.
[00:09:19] Speaker A: And I hate that the most.
And that's why it's best too, to leave a lot of stuff, like, unresolved, I guess, like, because you never know, like, what the other person going through
[00:09:33] Speaker B: or, like, what they meet think.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Or like, how it's going to end. How the argument is going to end.
[00:09:38] Speaker B: Like, that's why I don't like arguing with people.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: Like, because I know I take it too far. And if I'm arguing with you, then I'm gonna feel like I want to put my hands on you and I don't need to do that.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I take it far too. I ain't gonna store. I ain't even gonna say I take it far because I feel like, I feel like I'm one of them people. I don't do stuff first.
So if you do something to me, I'm not gonna store it. Like I feel like I got the right to feel how I can feel. Like.
And I mean granted, I mean I may be doing too much, like I may be pushing the issue. But like.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: So you can't tell me, you can't tell me how I can, how I can act if you did something to me type.
Yeah.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: But at the same time, if you know that it's something that's gonna provoke you to act out of here so you just need to stay away from it.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: That ain't protecting my energy.
[00:10:28] Speaker B: No, but you have to learn too protect your energy. And you have to also know discernment.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: But you know I love a good little.
A good little toxic. It's here and there. Like I gotta have me a little. I hate it.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: I'm out of that stage of my life.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: I need me a little one too. Like if it's consistent. Okay. No, but a little one to a little razzle dazzle.
I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind like as long as it's not like nothing too. Too bad.
I ain't tripping. I ain't gonna trip for sure. But that is like one of my bad habits that probably does drain my energy.
Okay. So maybe I do need a. Probably try to get me some. Change my bad habits to good habits, you know.
But I love a good toxic. I ain't going to lie.
[00:11:14] Speaker B: Toxic. This drain the heck out of me. It was real bad.
[00:11:18] Speaker A: I don't know like I just, I think it's.
It's like a little onew for me.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: So do you feel like with protecting your energy do that field comes with people pleasing?
[00:11:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Like if you. I mean you don't see me. I don't like for people to be mad at me.
[00:11:40] Speaker B: Yeah, me either like or I don't
[00:11:42] Speaker A: like for people to feel like
[00:11:45] Speaker B: she was wrong.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I hate that.
Come on now. I'm not even that serious. Like so I do feel like it. Do you? Like you gonna have to sometimes.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: Yeah. But at the same time this is just for me.
[00:11:58] Speaker A: Yeah, it is for you though. But I mean you don't want nobody to be mad at you. So at the end of the day when somebody be mad at you, you're still gonna be feeling some type of right. So I mean, you gotta pick and choose. Like, you just gotta pick and choose. And me personally, I'm not gonna story. I'll probably be one of the people. Like, but like, if it's not small, I'm not gonna lie, I probably bro, like, he ain't even gonna take that long to go ahead and do it. Yeah, they ain't gonna know I'm mad.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: But I can't say that though.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: It's okay.
[00:12:25] Speaker B: Cuz sometimes it hard to hide my anger or if I'm upset or something bothering me. It's just hard to hide it. I can't help it.
[00:12:31] Speaker A: I mean, I do be having a bad attitude, but I mean, I feel like that's just a girl thing. Like, I mean, that's it. I ain't gonna say a girl thing because that's anybody. If you don't want to do something, you're gonna be like, oh, like, even if you is gonna go do it, you're gonna like, oh my God. I don't know, bro. Oh my God.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: Yeah. But I do feel like sometimes if I say no to certain people, it's like, where would this leave our friendship or like our relationships just in general? Anything. Friends, family.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: I'll say no to something reasonable as long as it ain't like.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: I feel like it also depends on how you say no for sure.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: For sure. Because if you're just being rude, you see you on the other side.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: But sometimes you can say just plain no.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: No explanation.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: Yeah, you don't got to be rude about it though.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: Like, how would you say it then?
[00:13:24] Speaker A: Me? Yeah, like, if I didn't want to do something, I didn't want to come today.
So we can plan another date, you know?
And even with my friends, I mean, with my friends, I'll be a little different. Like, I really never not want to go away with my friends.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: Like. Yeah, but just certain stuff you don't feel like doing.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: Oh, I do not want to do that.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: Yeah, just say I'm not in this space for that right now. I can't do that.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: No, I'll probably just complain about it, but I still probably do it.
No, I said I complain a lot. Like, even when I don't want to do. So that's like at home it's just
[00:13:58] Speaker B: the simplest things though.
[00:14:00] Speaker A: And they'd be so small, but I do not be want to do them. Like so.
But I can't be mean about it
[00:14:06] Speaker B: either though, so but you just mean flat out, you don't care.
[00:14:10] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I say. Like, you gonna know I didn't want to do it. Like, even though I am gonna do it. Like, you're definitely gonna know that I
[00:14:16] Speaker B: didn't want to do it because you could complain.
I'm not doing that.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna. Now I say if I tell you no, I'm just gonna tell you no, I'm gay. Like, no, I'm not. No.
But if I do do it, I'm definitely, nine times out of ten, I'm going to complain about it. For sure.
No if answer buts about it.
But you know, when it comes down to people pleasing, I don't.
I don't feel like it's something that you have to conquer every day, though.
[00:14:53] Speaker B: Like, no, if, you know, like, I'm a people please to a certain extent.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: Like, if, you know, like, you've been, like, somebody is overdoing it.
[00:15:00] Speaker B: Okay. Now you taking advantage.
[00:15:03] Speaker A: I cannot keep pleasing you.
Thank you.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: So that's why I say it's like, you can't burn. You can't burn the bridge. Like, I can't keep.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: Like, if you see somebody keep doing something for you, they're gonna keep asking you to do it.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Like, over and over.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: You got me messed up because in
[00:15:20] Speaker B: the end, I'm only harming me. You ain't you benefiting from this.
[00:15:23] Speaker A: But I'm home and I already ain't asking for nothing in return.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: You ain't giving nothing in return.
Like, don't, don't run out now, because I will tell you.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: No, but that's where it comes in to be like self prioritizing versus being selfish as well.
[00:15:39] Speaker A: Yeah. But I feel like people need to understand that it's okay to be selfish too.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: Yes, for sure. Because everybody else is selfish. Why can't I have a sign? To be selfish?
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Yes. It's okay to be selfish. And I feel like that's why people mess up too. Because they don't want to be selfish. They don't want that selfish title. Like, everything I do in life is for me. Nobody gotta live this life but me.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: Yep. And when I be being selfish, the first thing my mama say, don't be like that. You don't need to be like that towards people. What? At the end of the day, nobody don't give a damn about me.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: And nobody ain't doing nothing for me. Nobody ain't doing nothing for me. I work for every dime I got.
[00:16:13] Speaker B: Okay. For sure.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: Everything that I got, I work for. Okay? Like, nobody is not giving me nothing. Like, so I feel like, yes, if I want to be selfish, I can
[00:16:22] Speaker B: do that for sure.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: And I mean, who's going to tell me I can't?
[00:16:27] Speaker B: Like now sometimes it do come down to when you have to sacrifice, but it all depends on or what they're wanting you to sacrifice. Like, if you down to your last.
And somebody say, for instance, you got $30 left and somebody said, can you give me $20? In reality, you don't have it, cuz that's your last $30. You need that.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: I really.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: You need that $20?
[00:16:48] Speaker A: Maybe I'm down to 10. I can't even get nothing to eat for real.
[00:16:51] Speaker B: And you have to put yourself. Even if you have money in your savings, that money in your savings is money that you don't have.
[00:16:57] Speaker A: Right, right. That's for sure.
Because once you go in that savings
[00:17:02] Speaker B: one time, you gonna keep going back until the wheel run dry.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: Pitching, pitching, pitching, pitching, pitching, pitching. Literally. Like, y', all, I say, I don't, I don't mind. Like, I really am real with myself. Like, and I'm not gonna lie, I am a little selfish. Like, no shame. I am a little selfish. Like, if I don't want to do something, I'm not gonna do it. Like, I'm really not. Like, especially when it comes down to like taking somebody somewhere or me going somewhere or meeting somebody. Bro, this is my car.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: Especially with the meeting part. Like, you want me to take you to meet somebody? I don't even know. They could be trying to kill us.
[00:17:38] Speaker A: And then I'm not about to pick you up from your house and take you to the club and take you back home.
I'm drunk already.
[00:17:48] Speaker B: I'm like, what?
[00:17:49] Speaker A: Like, come on now. Like, come on.
[00:17:51] Speaker B: If I take you there, you need to have a ride back.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: You gotta get a ride.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: Like how our parents used to say, I'll drop you off at the skating rink, but you better have.
[00:17:57] Speaker A: Okay, you can. I'll drop you off, but you got to find your ride back. Okay? Like, or either you're gonna find your ride there and I pick you up. Yeah. So one or the other, we gotta, we gotta figure out what we're gonna do.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Compromise.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, but I don't really too much, I don't really too much care though.
Like, and a lot of people that know me, they already know, so no way. That was selfish.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: Yes, very.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: Yes. Like, I mean, that's just me. Like, I'm literally, I have one personality. Bro, Like, I have one personality. So, like, when it comes to like protecting your energy, I mean, I. I already know what I gotta do. I never just cut you off. I never changed. Like, I never changed. Like, I literally have.
I can't. Like, I don't know.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: Like, I feel like if you go be one way, stay that way.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: Yes.
Like, I act the same. You can see me anyway. I'm gonna act the exact same way.
[00:18:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I can't stand like the flip flop, you know?
[00:18:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:55] Speaker B: Somebody and then when they're around certain people, they're a different type of way.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: Right? Yeah. No.
[00:19:01] Speaker B: See too much now you talking about at work. I hope you don't be acting like this is me.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: I literally have one person. Like, the same way I act here, act at home, acting like that works like that church like that everywhere. Like, I can't help it.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: So you be wild at work. Like how you be it.
Yes.
Yeah. One thing I noticed too. You don't care who you're around. You could be in front of a pastor and you still gonna be talking shit.
[00:19:24] Speaker A: Yes. Cause you know why?
We all gotta keep it real.
So. No, I'm not.
[00:19:29] Speaker B: You gonna cuss in front of a pastor.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's just. Cause I cuss bad though. Like, I cuss so bad. Like, it don't. It wouldn't be on purpose.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Gotta stop that.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: Like, it wouldn't be on purpose. It's just something I gotta work on. Like, I really do gotta work on it. Like.
And I told myself that that was gonna be my New Year's resolution. Resolution. And here it is.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: Girl, we five months into the year, I still. Cuz, man, they say it say 21 days to break a habit, you need to practice. Start practicing now.
[00:19:58] Speaker A: Yo, I've been practicing since January 1, 2026.
It's hard.
It's hard, you know, like when you do something so long, you. It hard to stop. Yes. Bad habits that got to turn to good habits. It's just.
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say, man.
[00:20:18] Speaker B: So are you living life or managing everyone else's expectations?
[00:20:23] Speaker A: I'm living life.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: Like you live carefree. Like bump what everybody have to say or you care about what people might have to say? I think it's to a certain extent for me,
[00:20:36] Speaker A: I'm carefree mostly. I'm mostly carefree.
I'm not even gonna start.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: No. That's kind of certain stuff. Yeah.
[00:20:42] Speaker A: I literally.
It's nothing. I won't tell nobody. I mean, this is My life. Nobody ain't living this life but me.
[00:20:49] Speaker B: And you only get one thank you.
[00:20:51] Speaker A: And there's nothing that you can tell me that I can't do.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Yeah, like sometimes if I want to
[00:20:56] Speaker A: take the chance, Boo, guess what?
[00:20:59] Speaker B: Taking it, let me do it. Like with the managing everyone expectations. My grandma. Oh my God, that's our biggest argument. Like every time I we talk. You should have stayed at them people's school. You ran straight home. You should have stayed there.
She said you ain't went to school for nothing but five months. No, I went for nine. And that was the worst time of my life. I was depressed af.
[00:21:25] Speaker A: Yeah, but see that people got to understand too. Like, if you, if you would have stayed at school, you would have been so down and drained different.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: I would not be. Like, at the same time, people expect you to do stuff that they never did. Like, at least I did have the courage to go.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's. The environments play a part in protecting your energy too. That school probably just was not for you. Like, you know, like maybe if you was to try school again, work out in your mindset, you know, like it's more mature now. It's growner. Like.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: Yeah. And you know how to handle responsibility. Like know how to put stuff first.
[00:22:05] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:05] Speaker B: With school especially.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: So how would you like consider choosing yourself, like instead of others?
[00:22:19] Speaker B: Well, others, for example, like, I can't stand for nobody to call my phone and waking me up, putting myself first is getting my full time asleep. Like, do not disturb me. I would actually watch the phone ring and or mute it and go back to sleep. Like, why are you calling me?
[00:22:43] Speaker A: But what if it's an emergency? Like, what you calling me for?
[00:22:46] Speaker B: I ain't 91 1.
[00:22:51] Speaker A: I know who the. I better not call. Let me take Bray off the list right now.
[00:22:55] Speaker B: I would say for emergency to a certain extent. Now you calling me because you got a flat tire. I'm sorry, I am not no mechanic.
[00:23:03] Speaker A: No, I'm on side of the road. Like, bro, you can at least I
[00:23:05] Speaker B: come pick you up now. Okay. If you need me to call, I mean help you, you need to call more than one time. But if you, if it's emergency, okay, I see somebody coming back to bed. Okay, it's something. But you just calling me one time. I mean calling me to talk early in the morning. No, I'm not up. If you like, like our friend before she call you, you know what she do? Check your active status on Facebook. I need everybody to do that.
[00:23:29] Speaker A: Yeah, facts.
I don't Know, though, see, when I go to sleep, I usually put my phone on do not disturb.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: I don't do that, especially if I
[00:23:38] Speaker A: gotta go to work.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: What's different for you?
[00:23:40] Speaker A: I definitely put my phone on Dr. Like, that's not gonna work. But then I do be feeling bad because, like, what if it do be an emergency? Because the only people that's on my favorites that can get through, like, all my do not disturb is my mama, my nana and my sister.
[00:23:55] Speaker B: My. My mama and my sister.
[00:23:57] Speaker A: That's literally all. Like, everybody else, like, they're gonna have to keep calling.
[00:24:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: So. But I mean, who really would call me if it was an emergency?
[00:24:05] Speaker B: Like, girl, you never know. You never know. Other people's perspective of you. They might feel like you can come through for them.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: No, it's probably be very rare. It ain't nothing I know how to do.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: See, you give people off them vibes. Like, don't call me.
[00:24:20] Speaker A: It's nothing I can do.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: Yo, like, bruh, but you always want somebody to come through for you.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: I need help, but you don't want help. I don't know what to do.
[00:24:31] Speaker B: They might be protecting their energy and say, I ain't got time to keep you shit today.
[00:24:35] Speaker A: That's fine. Next caller. Life goes on. Boo. That's fine. Just tell me. That's all I want you to tell me. Just don't set me up telling me that you going to come and don't come. That'll piss me off and I'm not with you no more. I don't care.
[00:24:46] Speaker C: What?
[00:24:46] Speaker A: Nobody.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: That's another example of, like, protecting your energy, too. Like, don't set false expectations for somebody if you know they're not going to come through for you. Because at the end, you going to be the one saying right then.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Got your hopes up for nothing. Yeah.
[00:25:01] Speaker B: Knowing that they not going to come through.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: That joint used to get me when I was growing up, my daddy, boy, I used to get my hopes up so much
[00:25:09] Speaker B: didn't come.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: Ain't picking me up, bags at the door for nothing.
Just sitting there waiting for those kids. Yeah. Just waiting, looking out the window for nothing.
[00:25:18] Speaker B: I used to pay till my daddy got there. And then as I got older, and
[00:25:22] Speaker A: I ain't even gonna lie, I was like, 14 still waiting for him. 15.
No, it was fresh. So.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: So, okay. Did you come to a point where you realize, like, I need to stop doing this and setting myself up for hurt?
[00:25:38] Speaker A: Yeah. But, you know, it's kind of hard. Like, it was hard for me to stand Firm.
That's my dad.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: Yeah, for your dad.
[00:25:47] Speaker A: That's my dad. Like, I want this. Like, so I used to keep, like, itching, itching, itching, itching, itching. Then eventually it's just kind of like, okay, girl, like, you grown now. Like, get it together now. I say now. I can definitely say me and my dad have a better relationship now, but we still don't talk. Like, I think we should talk, you know, like, we don't talk as much as I think we should. As, like, yeah, And I'm his first child. His first child. And I'm a girl.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: Like, I'm my daddy, one and only child.
And it comes to a point where sometimes I have to protect my peace with him. Like, you're not gonna call my phone screaming and yelling at me about something that can't be changed or just because of how you feel about something, your opinion on something. I don't see it that way. And I'm still a growing.
A young adult.
So some stuff, you will have to let me fall and realize my wrongs in it or grow from that experience. Like, you can't protect me from everything. So at the end of the day, you go feel how you feel. I'm gonna feel how I feel, and we're gonna move on from there.
[00:26:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And I feel like parents.
I hate to be the one to say it, but you gotta protect your peace from your parents. Like, for sure. Parents use that authority to.
Like, they gonna use that authority. Yeah, they gonna run your ass.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: Never give him my opinion on nothing. And if I do give him my opinion, he take it the wrong way. And the first thing he say, I'm your daddy. You ain't my daddy. Yeah, get over that. I'm about to be 23 years old. I'm grown with a whole child.
[00:27:11] Speaker A: Right. Like, I'm technically grown now. So, I mean, I don't mean no harm. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I kind of have the right to say, like, how I feel too. And I don't got to be disrespectful about it. Correct. But I can still tell you how I feel, you know?
[00:27:25] Speaker B: Yeah. But at the same time, though, with that, it just. Like, at the end of the day, I don't want to mess up our relationship just by me feeling some type of way. Like, that's where the people pleasing part come in.
[00:27:38] Speaker A: And that's why you always have to just remove your stuff when it comes to their parents. Like, nobody can piss you off.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Like, certain Situations.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Nobody can piss you off like your parents and the person that you messing with.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: Nobody can get under your skin like, do you.
Okay. And I feel like the older we get was, I already have a kid. But having kids, they definitely gonna be somebody that get up under your skin more than anybody if they don't do the right.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Because my mama be going crazy.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: Yeah. So now it's situations. I have to put myself in his shoes.
[00:28:10] Speaker A: I don't even be thinking like this stuff. Like one mama be going here. I'd be like, bro, it's not even that serious.
[00:28:15] Speaker B: But then again, after you sit down and think about it, she was right.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: It is. I should have been did that.
She did ask me to do that
[00:28:24] Speaker B: like two hours ago.
[00:28:27] Speaker A: Falling in love can cost you your energy too. And you won't even know it.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:30] Speaker A: Like, you won't even know it till it's too late.
[00:28:33] Speaker B: Not using yourself.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: You was drained. You was through.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: And this is from just like life experiences and relationship wise.
The last time I didn't choose myself, it was terrible. It was like a heartbreak. Like I should have stayed away from that when I was had a chance to get away.
But I did it.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And you know what's bruh? The craziest thing is you make you
[00:28:59] Speaker B: act out of character, bro. I could have went to jail so fast.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: Like, it's like you won't even be thinking about like what you about to do. Cause you so upset or so sad or so mad or so angry. Like you just.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: Yep.
So many things could have possibly happened. I could have been in jail. I could have lost my life to a car accident.
Like. No.
[00:29:23] Speaker A: One thing I don't play though is jail.
[00:29:26] Speaker B: I don't play Jill or putting my life in jeopardy. And I see that now that I'm older. Like, I shouldn't have done that. I should have just removed myself when I had a chance instead of giving chance a chance at the chance at the chance.
[00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah. I ain't never played that. Because one thing for sure, two things for six certain, I am not going to jail. You know how scared I am in jail? Hell no.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: Who ain't scared of jail? And if you ain't scared of jail, stay the hell away from me.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: Bye.
[00:29:49] Speaker C: There's a lot of people not scared of jail.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: You want?
[00:29:52] Speaker A: I'm not.
[00:29:53] Speaker C: Oh no. I'm terrified.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: Yes. I don't want to go there. Hell is hell ain't a place for me either. But jail ain't either. I don't want to go terrified.
[00:30:01] Speaker C: Do not Put me in jail.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: I ain't even trying to get that far. I ain't even trying to get to him the back of the police. Cuz I ain't even trying to get the police behind me.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: I don't even want to get out
[00:30:09] Speaker A: the car for the police. I don't even want the police to get behind me. Like, I'm good. I don't even play with them like, no, you're good, officer.
[00:30:17] Speaker B: I'm so respectable of the police. Except for one time, police asked me, you want to go to jail? I said you and walk away. I'm so glad he didn't try to go after me. Alcohol. Alcohol is your worst enemy.
[00:30:29] Speaker C: You tripping, tripping.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: You might need to step that alcohol and protect your peace.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: No, I've grown since then. That was three years ago.
I'm an adult now.
[00:30:37] Speaker A: I would have been crying. I would have had to put some money on your boots. I had had work.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: Well, what, he was going to take me to jail for disorderly conduct cuz I said him sure.
You know, I don't even want to think about the what ifs. I'm good.
[00:30:48] Speaker A: At least you didn't go. Goddamn.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: Thank you, Jesus.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: At least you didn't go, man.
[00:30:54] Speaker C: Okay, so what you ask me, how
[00:30:57] Speaker A: do you feel about, you know, protecting your energy, what you do?
[00:31:02] Speaker C: I don't know, I just, I don't pay people mine.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: Yoshi. But you know, sometimes, like we're just gonna keep it real honest right here. For real.
[00:31:12] Speaker C: Like I'm keeping it honest as I can. Like I don't, I don't allow.
In my, in my years on this earth, I spent too much time allowing people to control my day.
And I no longer allow people to control my day. If I wake up in the morning, I'm gonna have a good day.
Have a good day.
[00:31:31] Speaker A: So like people don't, so people don't make you upset. They don't, they don't get up under your skin no more. Basically,
[00:31:39] Speaker C: I think people do to you what you allow them to.
[00:31:42] Speaker B: That is true.
[00:31:43] Speaker C: So if, if I, yes, I am annoyed with people at times. I can't say that I'm not. So I'm. I'm definitely annoyed with people at times.
Things that people do bother me from time to time.
But all in all, like, I always look at it in a, in a broader scale of, okay, like I could die tomorrow and the last thing I would have, I would have went to bed. I could not wake up, but I went to bed mad at somebody or, you know, What I'm saying, I could die tomorrow. And I spent today, you know, being annoyed with somebody who said something about me on Facebook or social media. Like, you know, I. I get a lot of criticisms and stuff about me all the time on social media.
And people send it to me. It ain't even people I. I follow.
It's usually, like, people who follow those people will screenshot it and send it to me. Look what this person said. Look at this. And I'm like, okay.
So, like, they're not. They didn't come to my house, knock on my door and tell me, you know what I'm saying? Everybody. I'm not. So I'm not about to fall apart or. Or get bent out of shape.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: That's your opinion.
[00:32:58] Speaker C: Over. Over somebody else's opinion who's not even talking to me.
You're talking about me. Cool. But you're not talking to me.
[00:33:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:05] Speaker C: So protecting my piece to me. Well, the way I protect my pieces. I don't pay these people no mind.
[00:33:12] Speaker A: I don't like to feel played with, though.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: Like, oh, see, but I had to let that go.
[00:33:16] Speaker C: No, but I think that's. That's. That's 23 talking.
By the time you get. By the time you get to my age of 40, you're gonna be like,
[00:33:24] Speaker A: yo, I don't play. Like, I don't play by nobody around me. Like, my little sister. Like, I've been tell her all the time, girl, if something happened to you at school, call me. Don't call mama. Call me. Because I. Yeah, mama ain't gonna have no choice but to go there as I get done.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: I had a reality check that made me let that whole letting feeling play with mindset go. It was not good. Too many people was involved.
And at the end of the day, my feelings was the one that ended up hurt. Yeah, it was a bad experience.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: Yeah, people. People play over you. As long as you allow them to play over you. Yo, if you don't cut ties with them people and let tell them that they ain't about to. That they not about to keep playing with you. They're literally going to keep playing with you if you don't show a. They're not about to play with you. They're literally going to keep playing with you as long as you.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: Yeah, they will.
But at the same time, there's something like that experience. You know exactly what I'm talking about. That was taken too far, and too many other people's lives was involved. Like, anything could have happened with that. So at the end of the day, you always have to step back and think, like, is this really worth it?
[00:34:26] Speaker A: Timing.
I think that's what it was.
That was just it.
[00:34:31] Speaker B: You have to step back at that. Like, is this really, really worth it? Like so many other things can happen. The outcome of that. We did not expect that outcome.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: And I'm not going to lie, that was pretty damn terrible.
[00:34:43] Speaker B: So you have to take the time to step away, put your big girl panties on and be like, you know, I'm going handle this a different way. And ever since that night, I've been handling things different.
[00:34:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that would have been.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: I don't let my anger take control of me or this whole you ain't going to play with me thing.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: Yeah, that would have been ey opener too. But maybe I just a have my eye opener yet, but I can't nobody play with me.
[00:35:05] Speaker B: Like.
[00:35:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And I.
I ain't wanting the people to take it to the extreme, but I'm definitely not with you. Like you're gonna know.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: I mean, it took a while for things to feel normal again, but.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: Right. Yeah, but that's normal though, in that situation right there, though. So, like, if you was to give someone like tips on protecting their energy, what would you say give them? 3
[00:35:34] Speaker B: stay away from things that make you easily to anger. Stay away from people who are a distraction to you are that's always mad about something. They can never find a reason to be happy and be intentional about what you do and all things. It don't matter what it is. Depending on how you want to go to sleep tonight, be intentional about that too.
[00:35:54] Speaker A: Yeah, those, those are great tips. Three great tips for sure.
[00:35:58] Speaker B: Always make sure you stay focused.
[00:36:01] Speaker A: Yeah. I'll say.
Say no, say no if you want to say.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: No matter who it is.
[00:36:10] Speaker A: Right. You can be as selfish as you want. Nobody living this life but you.
Another one that I would say, like, if you feel like that environment is not for you, don't wait until like something happened. Yeah. For you to remove yourself. Like I always say, like intuition.
[00:36:30] Speaker B: Yo, it's real.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: Yes. Like, even if you don't know if it's going to happen or you just don't. Don't want it to happen. Like, baby, just. Just go. Just prevent it all from happening and just go. Like, if you feel like that place is not for you, leave. Like if people in the room that you ain't messing with or you keep something that going on that you ain't messing with, go. Like you don't even got nothing to do with it? Just leave.
So.
And the last one that I'm gonna leave off with is just pray it off.
Just pray it off. And with time, God gonna work.
God gonna work. He gonna move whatever.
Whatever.
[00:37:12] Speaker B: Actions, bad energy.
And if you ask for it, he will strengthen your discernment for you to be able to pick up on things like, no, this is not for me.
[00:37:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: Or I don't need to be around this. I don't need to do that.
[00:37:24] Speaker A: Right. And it's going to take time, but I promise you it's going to work. It's going to work.
[00:37:29] Speaker B: And four things you need to remember. Pause before you say yes.
Check how your body feels. Ask do I feel obligated or do I want to do this?
And start your day with peace and practice routines.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: Yes. Great tips from big Dolce Jewels.
Okay, so I'm gonna leave off with stop whispering about what you want or how you want to live your life and live it how you want to live it.
Be bold. Yeah. Be bold. Say it with your chest. Do what you want to do. Like, do what you want to do.
Bye.
[00:38:14] Speaker B: Bye. See y' all in the next episode.
